About My “Dulce Vida Loca”

Here is how my present life, my crazy romances started. This is from several years ago; those of you who got my book saw this already.  And – any of you – when you read this, and consider the earlier posts… well, perhaps you can see why I am suddenly in this place again, where things happen to me, things I never start, I never expect, and it just takes over my entire world!

It was exactly one year after PT’s death, and I felt I was doing pretty well. We’d been married many years, and we loved each other so much. It was time to live again.

May, 20 xxxx. Trying to stay upbeat and healthy, I was at the gym, where I naturally am friendly and smile and greet everyone I see who happens to make eye contact – men or women – Miss Congeniality, right!  Now when I work out, I use the weight machines and some of those have weights that are too heavy for me to lift so I usually ask some young guy to please take them off so I can put lower weights on.   And they always do that, no problem.  After I was done working out, I went to my car.  I was vaguely surprised that I did see one of the young guys from the gym, standing a few feet from my car, but I thought nothing of it, and gave him a slight wave.  As I approached, he came towards me, holding a single red rose.   He looked right into my eyes and said, “Can I give you this?”  I was a little taken aback but smiled and shrugged and said, “Oh – ok.” 

I certainly did not know why I should refuse that; it seemed like a sweet gesture. I did sort of think that it was odd that he knew which car was mine, as there are hundreds of cars in the lot with the gym and a pizza place and many stores, so it flashed through my mind that he must have watched me go to my car before, without me realizing that.  So he held out the rose.  I took it and said, “Well, thank you!” and then turned away to get into my car.  The next moment a strong arm grabbed my body and he pulled me toward him, which made me gasp in complete reflex of utter surprise and some sense of alarm!  My mouth being wide open, the next thing I felt was a large hot tongue way down my throat!  Lucky I had gasped and had enough air in me for a minute!  It was impossible to do a thing – I was tightly held and being kissed so deeply it was mind bending.  I suddenly felt as weak as a newborn kitten and I thought I would melt into the ground, my whole body was shaking, trembling from within.  I had no way to resist or move. 

I nearly swooned – I could not stand on my own at all.  His arm was still around me.  When he let me breathe, I stammered, “Wha-what- what just happened!”

He simply said, in a calm even voice, “I want to see you.  Can I see you?” 

The first words that came out of my mouth were – “How OLD are you??”   I KNEW he was many years younger than I.  He smiled slightly. “Hey, we’re not talkin’ about it.”

“But – I – I just don’t know … I mean, I don’t even know what to say …” I was shaking my head, still struggling in trying to believe what had just taken place.  I knew full well that if he had been ‘polite’ and asked me out, I would have looked at how young he was – and surely I would have refused.  But he had not asked… He looked very directly into my eyes and said again, “So – can I see you?”

I looked at him, at his arms, muscled and tattooed, his strong, broad shoulders, his chest, his young-ness, his male beauty.  His arm was still around me and I was not about to push it away.  My entire body was pulsing with a hot pleasure and a new desire I had not felt for years.  I knew I was not going to refuse this!   I looked back into his eyes and I felt a wave of pure lust.  My lips opened and said, “Yes.”

I gave him my address and cell number and he called the next day, asking to come over.  He came charging all the way up my long driveway in this huge construction truck that looked like a hook and ladder truck!  He strode up to me.  He started to fling his arms around me and I protested, “No, no, the neighbors will see you! Don’t do that!”

So he just held my arm as we went into the house.  Inside, I shut the back door and he instantly pulled me to him and kissed me as before and I kissed back with every fiber in my body.  Hands went everywhere — both his and mine!  He was ready to lay me down right on the darn tile floor and I said, “Stop – stop!”

He stopped.  “Why?”  He asked it so innocently, his tone was like that of a five year old; it made no sense to him at all. “Hey, if you say ‘stop’ – I stop.  You want me to stop?”

I looked at his face, his arms, that fine body – I knew I wanted anything he wanted to do.  He insisted I answer.  “Tell me – should I stop?”

I pushed him away a little and we moved into another room.  He immediately pulled me onto the love-seat with those strong muscled arms.  Feeling that touch of a man – seeing that animal lust in his eyes and hearing his voice close to my ears, his breath hot and fast – my whole body was melting with the desire that washed over me just looking at him …. He was insistent.  ”Say it – you want me to stop?  Say ‘stop’, Miguel’…” 

My eyes were already closing in helpless anticipation, my head was spinning, my heart was pounding… I softly answered, “No-o-o”…

“But please, let’s go up there,” I begged him to come upstairs to my bedroom where it was really private so I wouldn’t be so very nervous.  We went to go up the stairs, and I said, “You go on, I will come behind you.”

I tried to make him go first because I knew he’d touch me if I was in front of him. But he ignored my words, got right behind me and just put his hands on my hips and moved me up those stairs like a package.   In the bedroom he instantly pushed me onto the huge bed and started pulling my clothes off like crazy and I kept saying, “Wait – don’t!” — just cause I was so totally shaking and so kind of scared with the whole thing – I still felt idiotically shy even though I was going crazy with all the things he was doing.  He didn’t say a word, but instead, he put my hand on his hardness – still in his pants!  My clothes were going to get pulled off first – he yanked my shirt off and pulled my bra-straps off my shoulders and down to my waist in a moment.  My hands went up to cover my breasts and he took both of my hands in his and simply pushed them away and pressed them backwards, laying them both at my sides next to my shoulders, in a ‘hands up’ position.  I stayed that way, deliciously helpless, as he then grabbed my breasts and kissed them all over – sucking and biting my nipples like he was starving.  I just screamed with pleasure and he said, ‘Sh-sh-sh-sh!’ which drove me utterly wild.  He undid my bra and flung it on the floor and he pulled my pants off.  I was wearing those stretchy tight pants, but no underwear – (I almost never wear panties) – and he sunk his mouth right between my legs.  I thought I was going to faint – my head fell back and I just gasped and moaned – I knew I was done for. 

He still had his pants on after all this! He licked and nuzzled me and then he stood up and took his clothes off.  Out comes this big fat cock – way up!  I thought – omg – omg – omg!  He stood at the side of the big bed, and grabbed my ankles and pulled me toward him. Then he got onto the bed, on his knees and flung my legs over his shoulders and put the head of his cock where it wanted to be.   He pushed it in just a little.  

“Oh please! Go slow! Oh please, don’t do it fast, oh please –“

“Why not?” 

He sounded just like a little kid who wants to know ‘why’ he can’t have something!  And then he plunged that cock into me – and I really did scream! Yes, yes, yes, with pleasure — but it did actually HURT!  It had been so, so long since anything had been in there! (Just FYI I have never used a vibrator or ANY sex toys.  Never ever needed or wanted to – and anyway my husband had thought sex toys were ’bullshit stuff’ and he did not like any such thing.)

So this was a true “like a virgin” moment! It was so delicious having this gorgeous young body fucking me – I felt like I had gone into some kind of altered state – a trance – some high level of ecstasy that was unreal. I was definitely transported into a realm of incredible pleasure and I was dizzy with it.  I know I grabbed his butt and pulled him as deep into me as I could.   He started pumping faster and faster and then –it was over.  He was still on top of me, holding his body a few inches above me, as I lay there, absolutely helpless.  He pulled up and raised his head, looking down at me.  He seemed very pleased and triumphant even.  That was the first time – “La Primera Vez”, he chuckled.  Wow! I was in a whirl of disbelief and pleasure. 

Then he lay back on the huge bed and I did too.  Feeling all shy again I pulled one of the big king-size pillows over my chest and it covered most of my body.  He got all sweet and tender, smiled, “You don’t want me to see you?”

I was shaking my head a bit, and I just babbled, “I – I don’t  – I don’t know…  I ‘m sorry – I just feel —“ And he softly pulled the pillow away – “Hey, I love your body, I love this and this and this….”  His hands and lips were all over me, kissing and giving me little quick bites on my breasts, my nipples, my neck, my ears, my stomach, my legs, my shoulders, my crotch. “Hey – I’m a good kisser, huh?” he asked this so blankly, like a youth who had had his first kiss!  He was so much like a teen-aged kid, still unsure of how his technique was working!

“Yes, yes, yes, you are a terrific kisser!”  I was smiling again, entirely amused at his obvious youth and his own uncertainty despite his hot sexual style – amazing! He went back to kisses, kisses and nips and licks on my neck, shoulders, tummy arms – it was so incredibly sweet and made me feel so very good.   He was looking closely at my skin and touching me all over.  “Hey, you don’t got no tats, huh?”

“Tattoos?”  I answered, smiling and shaking my head. “No – no tattoos.”

But he was quite proud of all his tats… elaborate designs in blue, red and black – all over his back and all over his beautiful shoulders and huge biceps.  I put my hands on his face and just gazed at him.  What a beautiful face – wide cheekbones and the kind of Native Indian eyes I have seen on faces that have lots of ‘Indio’ – North or South or Central American Indian blood.  It’s ‘almond eyes’ as I call it, like many types of Asian eyes and also many types of African eyes.  I myself have eyes that slant upwards and I used to be teased and was called names like “chink” by kids at school.  I used to stare at myself in a mirror and worry about it and wonder at my features.  But now I love my eyes! Still studying his face, I traced his mouth with my finger.  His lips were a just little full, very shapely and well defined and I loved his features.  His skin a light olive tone, so tight and perfect, his muscles so big and so hard, his strong, well-shaped legs, his flat tummy and small ass; he looked like an Aztec warrior.  I thought, ‘Oh God, thank you!’  

And it must have showed.  He started kissing me again and yes, he was hard again – instantly.  He took both my wrists easily in one of his hands and pushed my arms back over my head, and kept me that way, so I was ‘held prisoner’ under him.  With the other hand he held his body above me and started kissing me, pushing his mouth hard against my tits and throat and I writhed in pleasure, my head turning from side to side in the sensuous joy of it.  He was kind of biting me and sucking at my throat, and from what I knew that would leave some tiny bruises.  ‘Hickies’ we used to call them. I said “Omigod – don’t make marks on me!”  And he laughed a little and did that ‘sh-sh-sh-sh-sh’ thing again which made all my juices flow even more. He sat up and pulled me to a sitting position, putting my legs on top of his, so we were like a rocking horse or a two backed rocking chair of some sort – face to face and legs around each other.  Then he pushed his cock into me and rocked us back and forth and I felt it go so deep it seemed to hit my chest.  That position – wow, I felt my insides vibrating and my stomach and vagina started to contract, a glorious sensation. He felt it. “Ahh, are you coming ? Yeah, yeah, yeah!”

It seemed he knew plenty about how to have sex –and it was surely all going to happen.  Then we really had to rest – I know I surely did!  I put my head on his chest and traced the tattoos on his arms, breathing in his male smell, his armpits with that sweet sweat of healthy exertion.  Then I looked down at his cock, which was like a huge fat burrito lying across his thigh.  It was so beautiful – I just had to move my hand down and gently touch it – he tilted his head back and let me do it.  I couldn’t help but raise my head and move down toward that cock.  I could not keep from kissing it softly and I slid my lips around the head of it in a circle.  He kind of jumped a little. “Hey, nobody never did that before!”

What!   I felt my eyes widen in surprise!  I thought I was hearing things – had he just said he had never been blown!!  OMG I thought – oh this can’t be real – he is too young! Oh what am I doing!  I had NEVER heard any man say anything like THAT in my life!  Years ago, when I was first divorced, I had been with so many – and many who were really young – just maybe 20 years old and less …  Yet NEVER did any guy say THAT!

But since I so love having a man’s cock in my mouth I just continued – I started licking it from the base all the way up to the tip, rubbing my cheeks against the shaft and gently letting my mouth slide down on the head – and then down and down till it felt like I was choking… and oh, I do so love that choking feeling!  I did this only maybe three times and his cock had gotten SO hard it seems he couldn’t wait for another second!  He sat up and wanted to put it inside me again! This time it was to be doggie-style – I was flipped right over on my tummy by those big strong arms.  He grabbed my hair and made me go face down on the pillow top mattress. Then he pushed his hand firmly right between my shoulders and my body easily went down – that is – the top part, my breasts were squished under me.  His arm went under and round my stomach and he raised my ass to the level of his waist or someplace high – I surely could not turn to check!  On his knees, he held my waist and hips high with both hands and jammed that cock into me yet again.  This time it was really fast and furious, and he kept slamming it into me while I grunted and gasped in short rhythmic spurts.  He came quickly when he went so fast.  When he let me up I rolled over and put my hands on my breasts.  “Hey – did I hurt your boobs? Man, I love your boobs.” 

(I dislike that word –boob’ or ‘boobies’ for my breasts and I said so). “It sounds like they are two stupid things – please don’t say that.” 

“Do you like if I say ‘tits’ – OK? I say ‘tits’,” he decided easily.

“OK, yes – much better!”  He laughed and put his hands under them saying, “Man, I love your tits, yeah I do. Hey – what size are you?”

Again amused and blushing at the same time at his talk, I bit my lip, and said, “Oh I don’t even know!”

He snorted and said, “What – you don’t know? I say you’re 38 DD. Lemme see your bra – where is it?”   Turned out he was exactly right…

‘Now we are really finished for today’, I thought.  I can’t get over how comical it is when he says something out of the blue, so impulsive, so immature, so silly at times.  He just talks and acts like a kid.   It’s so funny, yet so crazy, yet what he does with his body … whoa, it’s knockout hot.  Yet he really acts just like a kid in grade school!  Cause, the next moment, he rolled over and put his arm next to mine and said, “Hey – we’re like the same color. See?” We were indeed pretty much the same color – I had been in the sun a lot, I was tanned, which I liked, and I had always tried to get as dark as I could many years ago.  But now I slather sunscreen on so I do not get that dark as I would like to. Anyway, the tone of his skin was a medium light olive, very even and simply beautiful.  Lying on the bed, utterly exhausted, I started thinking about everything.  I realized he was really a young guy – and I really was dazzled by all he knew about how to have sex in so many ways, let alone how intense his energy was.  I guessed he had seen a lot of sex movies to see how all these positions were done, but he said he had never had a BJ??  

I guessed he had NOT been to a prostitute as I am pretty sure most guys ask for that right away!  Or if he had really had a lot of women – well, I guess they did not want to do it.  It really seemed odd to me, but I sure wasn’t going to be wasting too much time on analyzing it!  Suddenly he jumped up and said, “I gotta go.  Can I take a shower or I wash off in your sink?”  Again, the sweet childish questions. “Please, use the shower,” and I gave him a big fresh towel.  He got ready to leave.  It had been only a bit over an hour that he was there!

That was on a Saturday – just before Mother’s Day.  20xx.

The whole thing was so extraordinary, so thrilling, kind of risky – actually very, very risky – but so totally wonderful!  Now I was hooked on all of this new adventure.  It was so very amazing, so exciting, simply entirely and impossibly fabulous!  How could this have happened to me!

Published by rozhinka

I am a writer, artist and a woman who is exploring and reflecting on many things. In writing this very personal Diary of Secrets and Fantasies, I am looking backwards in trying to understand myself - and I am looking forward in exploring new paths of pleasure and possibilities. It's a precarious and precious journey. It's already been quite surprising - and often shocking.

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